Greg Murat (mur-rah)
Singer-Songwriter Guitarist
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Journal June 2006
June 30, 2006
Angels watching over me is an old song by Any
Grant. I thought of that song this morning just
after I said thank you God. I was taking a leisurely
morning drive in the country and I noticed the
car coming at me in the other lane was driving
across the center line. I could see that the
driver was looking down and toward the passenger
side. He was also wearing sunglasses. I saw
him lean down and reach down and across the
passenger seat. His hands followed on the steering
wheel and he drove head on into my lane. It
was sudden and complete and I ran off the road
and avoided being hit head on at 40 miles an
hour. Had I been checking my gas gauge or looking
in my read view mirror or checking my speed,
had I been doing anything but watching that
driver I would probably either be dead or in
the hospital. So thank you God. I hope there
are a passle of angels on my watch so one or
two don't get worn out keeping me out of harm's
way. I am grateful to be here another day for
my family and have the chance to continue to
seek and find my place and my way back Home.
It is a lovely day. The grass is in full
bloom so many of us are challenged with itching
eyes and runny noses but who cares. It is beautiful
outside. Kayden had a rough go trying to go
to sleep last night. Andie spent about an hour
holding him. A lot has to do with all the pollen
and him not knowing why he feels like he does.
There is one fact for sure he is swimming in
a sea of love at our house because we sure are
glad he is here. I am so glad he was given that
chance. And Sariah is incredibly beautiful and
beaming with love in those soulful brown eyes.
Being a Grand Papa is the best. Who knew? I
am glad I got to live and see this day because
it is a good one. Have a great holiday! Show
someone you love how much you care. God
bless. Greg
June 29, 2006
The new day rolls in clear and warm. It will
be in the 80's today. I didn't get much sleep
last night so I am in a happy fog today.
Kayden stayed asleep after his drive in the
car last night. I am listening to a new mix
of the songs I recorded at Mike Daily's studio.
There is some good stuff there. I still have
to sing the darned thing though. Still there
is a raw charm to the recordings and Mike has
gotten better and better at mixing. He reads
and reads, buys training DVD's and watches them. Anyhow it is a lovely day and I best be
about it. We are thinking on ways to help Kayden
keep on schedule and get more sleep and it occurred
to me that he misses us as much as we miss him
when he is away. He may be just trying to squeeze
more time out of the day in our company. It
is important to follow the heart on this. I
still remember those abandonment feelings to
this day so very far down the road of life.
If not handled right I feel it can impact a
life in a big way. I want to have the old school
life for Kayden. I would actually like if both
Andie and I could spend days with him; every
day in fact. See it and make it happen. See
it clearly.
June
29, 2006
Cannot seem to sleep tonight. It is 11 o'clock
and I have listened to Missy chew on and lick
herself for an hour and jumping off a building
sounds good at this moment. In my mind I tried
to place myself on the beach in the Bahamas
because that is still the prettiest water I
have been in in my entire life. I pictured the
turquoise waters around me and that Caribbean
sun beating down and the coolness of the sea
and the warmth of the summer sun, the waves
lapping at the shore. Lapping. Lapping. Licking.
Licking. Chewing. Chihuahua chewing. And here
I am when what I want to be doing is simply
sleeping. I have lost some discipline I fear
when I find some thing so annoying. Well, it
is probably because I long for more sleep. I
enjoyed driving Kayden around tonight. I wish
there was a way to have him sit where I could
really see him and we could share eye contact
and the magic of the setting sun and the day
turning to dusk. It seems like some strange
things have entered our lives. The mists of
distance, the lack of leftovers after the work
day is done. Nada. Nada. But the glass is overflowing.
No really. Full to the brim I hear it splashing
as I raise it from the table. Splashing. Splashing.
Lapping. Licking. Chewing. Arrrggggghhh.
June 29, 2006 Men
are disturbed not by the things that happen,
but by their opinions of the things that happen.
Epictetus
Now that is an interesting
quote. I was about to start out by complaining
about not making enough time to write a poem
or journal for almost a week. Perception. I
see myself not having enough time and therefore
I don't. What a waste. Rob came over last night
and we went to the Land of Midi. It is a strange
and enchanted land occupied by ones and zeroes
and sprinkled with waves of sound. Getting everything
to talk to each other in the Land of Midi is
the challenge. We struggled for over an hour,
maybe more, trying to get the PC to talk to
my sound modules. It wasn't speaking to anybody.
I finally threw up my arms and said let me get
my Powerbook and in five minutes we were listening
to samples of sound. Mac rules. Rob is about
to hit the road and travel as the sound dude
for about four months. It will be interesting
to see how that turns out. It will be an adventure.
Andie and I are talking about
what to do this summer but our plans are to
go see Josh & Christina and Freedom and
Natalie and hug our new grand babies. I surely
hope that all works out. We were hoping for
a trip to Florida but it looks like that is
not in the works. Mexico will happen again someday
but who knows when. We were the Traveling Willbury's
for a minute there for about two years. Now
we are playing the part of parenting grandparents.
Life is as life does. Keep a big vision and
a steady eye and your bat ready for you never
know when life is going to through you a curve
ball or a home run. It is an adventure I am
happy to share with Andie, our friends and family.
I will be playing at the Columbia
Winery Case sale the second weekend of August
Friday, Saturday and Sunday. If you life wine
it is a good time and place to buy it and you
can hear me play at the same time. August 11,
12,and 13.
June 23, 2006 What
really matters is growing old with a smile.
Susan and Todd Montgomery
When I first typed that
sentence it came out groaning instead of growing;
groaning old with a smile, a whole different
concept. The boy wonder is sleeping in this
morning. Andie has gone off to paint the barber
shop and then to a baby shower or what ever
just to get some time with grown ups away from
us kids. Liz is getting her beauty sleep and
I am embracing the morning and looking forward
to a lovely day. I look at all these photos
and see an old man where I should be, an old
man with a very big smile on his face looking
as this little boy blossoms right in front of
our eyes. I think of Sariah and how she is changing
and wish we could watch that happen up close
too. Now Sierra is soon to be here with Natalie
and Freedom and we will be grand parents 3 times
in just over a year. Life tromps on down the
road of time. Bones creak a bit and ancient
aches and pains settle in for the winter of
life but smiles wash in with the waves and take
away the cares and worries of the day. Brighter
days are here every day we pay attention, even
when it is raining. Rich we are in family, friends
and love. Rich we are and I am smiling.
June 23, 2006 It
is hard to defeat and enemy who has an outpost
in your head. Sally Compton
Another Friday and what a lovely morning it
is. I didn't get to spend any time with Kayden
yesterday. I have been mourning missing him
as for awhile I was spending my whole days with
him. Now it is go go go. I am doing some good
positive reading and gearing myself for some
new direction. I let an opportunity pass by
because I was dragging my feet. I realize that
and that it is so important what we say to ourselves
in the course of a day. The little messages
can make us sore or cause us to crass to the
ground in flames. Vision is a powerful thing.
I was talking to Rob about our dreams of a cooperative
Recording and healing foundation. Circular complex
with houses around the center which will be
the recording studio, yoga studios, massage
and healing rooms. He said he was reading that
you have to have clearly defined dreams to bring
them into your life. Vague dreams remain fuzzily
out of reach in the ether. Seeing the vision
and believing it, those are key. God wants to
bless more than we imagine. Let's imagine a
lot.
June 21, 2006
This month is running a marathon and taking
my laptop with it. I tote it around with me
while it sits in its case waiting to give wings
to a flash poem and a journal entry. This is
a time of transition and vision expansion. Belief
in a higher good and a better life. The material
things don't matter to us and I am thankful
for that. Still it has been said money doesn't
solve problems and troubles it just makes it
a bit more comfortable while you are going through
them. We love what we do in the creative realm.
We fall in a groove like the waves on the shore,
the rhythm of the sea, it is all so natural.
It is the rest of the time that is challenging.
Musically there is more waiting to be had. It
doesn't matter that things are different now.
It is a good thing to be open to new adventure.
I really loved what Jimmy, Ronnie and I did
at the show in the Highlands. It was a far cry
from my Latin Jazz love and a lot closer to
my Georgia roots in some ways but the best part
of all was singing harmony. I miss that. I told
myself all the time that I couldn't so a fair
amount of the time I proved myself right. But
the fact is I can and I love being a support
player. And I still think that musically speaking
that harmony is magic. I love when Jimmy sings
Valley Island Lady and I get to sing the second
part. Good stuff.
June 19, 2006
I know a fellow who wrote this song saying something's
gotta happen, something's gotta give, something's
gotta change about the way we live. Now! Right
now! Oh yea it was me. And that fact is truer
today than ever. I am shipwrecked from my soul.
Music is swimming far off shore and I want to
swim with it. Then there was father's day and
the family out here. Faith was such a huge help
getting food prepared and taking care of Kayden.
I did a show with Jimmy Culler and Ron Llinas
on Saturday and it was great. We had some wonderful
three part harmony moments. The folks who through
the party were really fabulous hosts and we
were treated with much kindness and beer. Jimmy
tested his brakes and proved he could wait to
the absolute last minute, burn a bunch of rubber
and still manage to not hit the car in front
of us. It may have helped that I was screaming
Look up! Stop. Stop. STOP!
It there was a black hair hiding under this
white mat on my head I am sure it is gone now.
On Sunday Andie's Dad and brother Carry and
their families joined us. Rob, Toni and Mish
came as well. We played much music around the
campfire we built in the back part of the property.
We missed Jason and Jimmy's fire building skills.
At one point Mish said "This fire sucks."
I am having a hard time doing any thing right
these days. At least that is what it feels like
to me. Noel had a great time and loved the music.
Liz's sister Rochelle got married on Saturday
and Andie worked very hard on the wedding and
shot all the photos and she did an amazing job.
I was up until midnight compiling five of the
songs I have written for weddings along with
my guitar instrumental CD, C'est Syrah. While
I was playing in the Renton Highlands in person,
I was virtually playing via CD at Rochelle's
wedding. I asked Andie how it went and what
music and songs did they use and she said they
used all five songs and every one was pleased.
That was a warm fuzzy feeling to be part of
both celebrations at the same time. Sarah did
a drive by because she is working 18 days straight
on her film shoot. She is in the writer, director's
groove. I got moments with her but they were
precious. She got me some Elixir strings, my
favorite and I needed them hugely. She gave
me a Peanut's guide to life. Liz got me gold
toe socks, a cooler, a book and a six pack of mini coke bottles. It was
a grand day. I talked to Freedom as well.
I am fighting the blues because I hate
change and I need one and I need it now. I loved
playing music with Rob and Mish and we did three
part harmony on the old standard Helplessly
Hoping. Then Josh called and we talked, he said
he knew we played Danny's song. He sounds great.
I have to ask him if I can share some of the
pictures he sent. What an angel. The day has
fluttered by and I am weary to the bone. Peace.
June 15, 2006
Good Lord somebody slow the roller coaster down!
Day into night into day into night and so it
goes. Last night Liz graduated from high school.
It was a really nice ceremony topped off by
a very mature speech by a scholarly young man
who had been taught humility by a junior high
youth. He said that grace and service were the
true measures of success and that before this
year he would have said money and prestige.
He thanked the young man for teaching him the
importance of grace. I was really moved. I have
been running over the events and choices of
my life and I tend to flinch a great deal. Yet,
how is supposed to be is how it is supposed
to be. Everything we go through leads to strength
or collapse and sometimes both. I regret choices
I made that caused people pain. I am grateful
for the time and chance to try and do better
and the faith that maybe I will be forgiven
in the end. I am so grateful to be a father
and now a grand father, soon to be for the third
time. Check out the new pictures of Sariah
Josh sent. He said it was okay to post them.
What an old beautiful soul born to a man meant
to be a papa. And Freedom is coming into his
time as well. God is great. Thank you for the
time.
June 11, 2006
We had a great time at Kayden's birthday party.
Kathy and Dale bought Kayden a beautiful red
wagon. It is a BMW of red wagons and I was really
touched. Kayden is studying it still to see
what he thinks but I wish I could fit into it
and go for a ride right now. Jason and Blu came
and Blu made this marvelous blue Care Bears
cake. I spent hundreds of hours with the Care
Bears when Chani was little so seeing that cake
was another happy moment for me. By the way,
I still remember how much fun I had in my red
wagon. Faith was there like she is for all our
special times and we love her a lot. Kayden
was loaded with toys from Liz's relatives and
our friends and family. I watched him yesterday
and even with all those new toys he was playing
with half an Easter egg. Go figure. Dan and
Becky came and their son Tyler and Kayden and
Liz's niece Kaylanee played together. We had
a camp fire later in the evening and sat around
and played music. We played some of my wedding
songs for Liz's sister Cochleae and I realized
I won't be able to be at her wedding as I already
had a gig booked with Ron and Jimmy. I am trying
to think if there is something I could do about
it and Larry Thompson comes to mind. I will
have to check into that. These new little people
in our lives are so amazing. Tyler sang along
with me when I was playing guitar and he sang
himself to sleep singing Somewhere Over the
Rainbow. Some guy, who I used to think of as
a friend but don't anymore, once told me that
I could put a gorilla to sleep with my music.
It's probably true. Thanks to all.
June 7, 2006
What is it about time that seems to make it
pass more and more quickly the older you get.
For the very very young time moves ever so slowly,
especially when anticipating something. For
us ancient mariners it seems to tumble downhill
gathering speed as it goes. Today is Kayden's
1st birthday and it seems like only a moment
ago he had just arrived so tiny and fragile.
Now it is hard to remember him not being here.
It is also hard to remember how much time we
used to have. He is a full time job all by himself
and we have so many other things going on every
single day. My music schedule has collapsed.
I hope briefly and yet I feel it is time for
a change of venues and direction. I have song
ideas going through my head but I haven't honed
anything for awhile. I usually learn a song
in the process of writing it. That involves
countless repetitions and a lot of time. Yes
time. The commodity I find most elusive these
days. But this gray day in Washington we will
celebrate this new life and focus in our world.
Gather and sing some songs. Visit and thank
God Kayden made it to the planet. He is glad
to be here. I can assure that is true. He loves
his food. He is so vocal when he eats. "MMMMM.
Yum. Yum. Yum. Yum. Yum." He says as he
ingests quantities of food that have Andie and
I shaking our heads in wonder. He has finally
started doing his first word in sign language:
all done. We are so thankful because before
that he was likely to give out a banshee cry
and tense his whole body when he was full. This
is much better, much better. Happy birthday
big guy.
June 7, 2006 More
than anything else, I believe it's our decisions,
not the conditions of our lives, that determine
our destiny. Anthony Robbins Thanks Dale
Came home to a beautiful wife and child and
a lovely yard. Andie weeded everything, even
around the tree in the center of the yard. Her
flower beds were dandelion patches when I left
and clear and ready for planting by the time
I returned. Amazing! Kayden was catching a breeze
on his bare bottom when I arrived. His little
swimming trucks were hanging out to dry. I could
see they had a good day. Mama loves that baby.
I went over to Rob's house about 9 o'clock
last night to see Freedom one more time before
his departure for Arizona. He and Rob were working
on a new song while sitting at the dinning room
table. It is two part harmony all the way through
and is called Hard Rain. The rest of the evening
was spent trying to record it. We got some visiting
time in also. Kate showed up and so did Tinzin,
Clarity and Steven Eberle. Later still in the
evening Joules arrived. She is weary these days
from MS and had to lay down. While she was lying
there she told a story of a former love of hers.
He was in Costa Rica when this woman who barely
speaks English came up to him and sang a song
the Joules wrote to him some years ago. He contacted
Joules and they are going to the Rainbow Festival
together this year. Then she said "do you
mind if I sing it for you?" and she proceeded
to sing this tale of letting go of a free spirit
but holding onto the love. It was very touching.
I made it until midnight at which point I turned
into a pumpkin. That's my tale.
June 5, 2006
Cool gray morning once again. The air is clear
and clean from the rain. Thoughts are bouncing
around in my brain but need coffee to clear
my head. Freedom is in town two more full days
so I hope to see him and have our web design
lessons before he goes back to Arizona. I want
to teach him to add a journal and poetry to
his web site. He has so much to say but doesn't
know yet how to upload the files. I am sure
he will grab right onto it and if there isn't
enough time maybe he could e-mail me and I will
post them. Anyway I hope this is a great week
with good news and upward motion.
June 4, 2006
Thank God for this space to be and think and
create. I spent about 8 hours trying to make
it Kayden friendly. I think it worked out pretty
good. He has a whole PA bungee corded to the
filing cabinet so he can turn all the knobs.
He has a Djimbe bungee corded to the desk so
he can climb it and play. He has a computer
key board to bang on and a track ball to take
apart and put back together. He still gravitates
towards anything he can reach while standing
on tip toe. That is more and more stuff each
day. Yikes.
I haven't been able to get through to Freedom
or Rob today. I wanted to go for a visit before
I start a new week but no luck. I may dink around
in the studio for a few hours here. While I
child proofed it pretty good I have left me
only a work standing up option. I guess I can
use the exercise. New day is coming fast.
June 3, 2006
It was a lovely sunny day
with just some hints that it might rain. The
concert went really well. I had no idea how
big this event is. I guess they raise over 200,000
dollars for cancer research. It was fun and
the sound, at least for Manolito and I was great.
Jimmy said he wasn't very happy with his sound
but it was good for me. Kayden danced and played
his shaker. I made it from an empty juice plus
bottle. He loves to play percussion and he has
that perfect meter like Josh has. It was nice
Dale Fuentes to come and donate his time for
this benefit, especially on his birthday. Andie
got a nice photo of Manolito and I. It is on
the news page.
Later in the day we went to
Rob's to help with the Freedom Tribe web site.
Mish was working with Rob on the graphics and
I realized there wasn't much for me to do at
that early stage. Since I was pooped we headed
for home. The boys and girls were going to continue
working. Andie had made a crock pot casserole
and brought it over and we all scarfed it down.
Mish and Andie are on the 16th day of their
fast. I get hungry just thinking about it. So
it is time for rest. Tomorrow is a brand new
day.
June 2, 2006 Sick
as a dog, must lie down
Well it was a hell of a day at sea sir. I am
sick as a Mo Fo and I have a concert tomorrow.
I will be pulling out all my Barry White songs.
Wait a minute. I don't know any Barry White
songs. Anyhow I had a great evening last night.
First I went to visit my adopted son, Rob. He
was working at Mike Daily's studio recording
free jazz. It was a duo which consisted of a
drummer-vibes player and a sax. The music was
way out there but they were such phenomenal
players they pulled it off.
Then I checked my messages and heard Freedom
say he really wanted to see. Since I was exhausted
and feeling this crud settling in I thought
to myself, "It is 10:30 at night I should
go to bed." So I drove over to Rob's house
where Freedom was and visited him until 2:30
in the morning. Steven Everly showed up after
driving up from San Francisco. Freedom said
he was editing some songs and was overwhelmed
by this incredible loneliness. I knew it was
the right thing to do: going to see him that
is. We had a soulful talk and he played me this
beautiful song that he had recorded in Maui.
We talked about living over there. I could deal
with that. The ocean nearby. Swimming in the
sea every day. He shared his memories of childhood
with me like he does whenever we are together.
He talked about my "intensity" and
how he could be in trouble for doing nothing
so much of the time. I hate hearing about my
shortcomings as a father although they could
fill volumes. It has always been important to
me to be the best one I could be. Don't we all?
Don't we all want to be the best we can be?.
June 1, 2006
Days are more and more full and it seems I have
less time to write. With the family, the little
one, and all the other callings I haven't time
to even journal. To write daily it will probably
have to be late in the day kind of thing. I
really like to wake up and write though. It
gives me a creative start to my day. Lately
it seems I have stuff to do from waking on.
Andie carries more than her share and she is
really loving and giving to everyone. I am really
the luckiest man in the world. I never ask what
did I do to deserve this because that would
send me running off down the road ducking for
cover. I just say thank you. Thank you.
I find myself biding my time and
not saying how I feel lately because sometimes
it seems like I am singing into the wind and
the words are lost in the motion of the moment.
So I sift some of my feelings a little further
and further down. Although it is true that we
see eye to eye on most things there is an area
that is quicksand to tread on. Is there a point
in standing up for what you believe when when
you feel like no one is listening? How far do
you go to express yourself when you feel like
reason doesn't enter the picture from one or
both sides. Questions. No answers. So I see
that smiling little boy who loves Andie so much
and I play with him when he is of a mind. I
reflect on the grown children in my life and
all I gained and all I missed in their lives.
Blessed is the man who walks with his eyes open
to the passage of time.
All contents ©2003-2022 and to infinity and beyond Andie Murat and Greg Murat All Rights Reserved
Greg Murat (mur-rah)
Singer-Songwriter Guitarist